Why I Love You

Why I Love you!!!

I ask myself…

What is it, I want the most?

Love; I guess, the most

In this run of Life

And…In the race of being the first one, who reaches

A simple walk with You, will do

In the complications of life

And…In the tangles of manipulated preaches

A silent morning coffee, with You, will do

In the moments of success and glories of life

And…The Disheartening Losses

A passionate kiss, will do

In the mix of relations and rituals of life

And… the functions and celebrations

Just a hug of joy, from You, will do

I get surprised!

How can you touch the strings…

Of my soul, deep down, with so much ease!!!

Some days u made a music and made me sing

Some day u broke it, and made me cry

It’s all so silly… Yes it is!!!

And yes it’s as difficult to tell, as to feel

But it’s all so simple for me…

Never You could know,

And never you can…

What this simple “Will Do” makes me feel…

Just makes me feel Alive

That’s why

I ask myself… again

What is it, I want the most?

… Love; I am Sure, the most

That’s how I love you…

---- By

Sunil Chandra Saha

2.00am, 8th Apr

My "Stupid"_FIRST LOVE

Dearest You,

It’s not that I haven’t written to you before, but still this time it’s very different. As a matter of fact, it was the first time I realized that sometimes this soulless, speech-less paper, becomes your best friend. These pages sink all the emotions, in the words and sentences, making it all so important for that moment. Even though the same pages become meaningless and funny as the time goes by.

I still can remember, the time. The strange times, of first infatuations; and the times of first love. The times, when even a mere sight was enough to write a few pages describing, how beautiful you are. The times when writing a letter with blood seems painless and may be a mere expression. The dreams I saw, the desires I had, seemed the end of the world and a day without your sight seemed never ending eternity. Seeing you, talking about you and dreaming about you seemed the most important things in the world. The super stupid talks and that fashion disaster red shirt seemed the best I could do to get your attention. The thought deep down that I may not get you any day, as I was no way near how good you are, kills me inside. I have felt that pain, and never learnt to smile in pain. Just could manage to stop my tears in public and may be cry when I am alone. That Love for music and listening to your favorite album again and again and again. And to sing all day to keep expressing the whole world that Yes! I am in Love. The never ending wait, in tuition classes and all those sleepless nights just to wait to wake up early and dress the best way I can to see you at school.

I still can remember those butterflies in the stomach and non fluttering eyes. You love that many a times gave me cold feet and often left me perspiring; made me weak sometimes and many a times made me more courageous than I ever was.

That, yes my dearest you, was the effect of your love on me.

Yes, I do accept many a things become stupid, mindless and may be strange when we grow up. So is the case today. 11 years have passed. Big 11 years. Life has changed, a lot. You may not even recognize me if you meet me. May be, you can even laugh at me, if we meet accidentally at some Café or Station, if I tell you that I am the same guy who liked you at school.

See, today the word ‘Love’ all those feeling, took a backseat and converted itself to safer LIKE. Can’t even stand by it that I loved you; May be I’ll say to you that it was infatuation. Strangely, that, that phase, was the time when I had the purest feeling in my heart.

Today, I have grown into a smarter person my dear. I never had a relation with you, but still feel that the feeling for you, made me learn and realize more than anything I ever managed in school. Now times have changed, a guy who used to run behind this sweet school girl, there are many girls around who love me. You know, what the height of sarcasm is! Girls find it Cute that, when I was in school, I literally died on this girl, and did so many stupid things for her and still could not get her.

Yes, see, all those I know, for them all those emotions are a story, a phase, which now is cute and sweet, stupid and may be super funny. Strange, how come I still respect that part of my life!!!

Don’t have the answer though.

Just want to tell you that, you taught me a lot more than you can imagine. That’s why you will always be special to me. But the feeling for you will always be My Stupid First Love.

Always Yours

My Strange Competition

Do you have a girlfriend? And you sometimes feel jealous? Then this next part is just for you!!!

As like everyone, I too have a girlfriend. And I don’t see a reason that till now you haven’t gazed what’s coming? Yes, it’s the small story of me and my girlfriend. But, like all love stories which has bumpy rides, in this story too, has a few. And the part which I am telling you all, there’s this 3^rd character between us.

Well let me start with some of my traits. I have never been possessive about so called ‘MY’ own things (I realized lately that there aren’t many things which I can say that I own). ‘Sharing’ was always the trait in me right from my childhood. In college days too, I was always considered to be generous.

Now you must be thinking that why I am making you read my character sketch!!!

Well, this is because I am going to tell you how all my characters of these 24 years zeroed down to nothing; when I experienced this (Stupid) character in my life.

Ok, though it is kind of embarrassing, I m penning down my emotions. After a very lovely 1^st year of relation, I was happy. Well generally guys have a tendency to relax a bit after this 1^st year. After all the hard work they do in 1^st year of love, for their girlfriends; picking up, dropping home, and long shopping hours (most importantly without complaints and yes, with a smile). So, I think they (the guys) deserve a break. I too, like everyone else took a while… a BREAK!!!

But I have very little idea that my competition will come in this package.

Where should I start? I and my girl, we go to a chai wala tapri. Baidyanath Tea Stall. Almost every day!!! There’s this tapri, makes real good chai. There’s real crowd in the evening. People stand in mob just to have their cup of tea. Guys like me who generally come there with their girlfriends, stay back and order chai to the chaiwala kids.

It was one more routine day; a good conversation over a cuppa of tea was on with her. Just then a chai wala guy came with 2 glasses of tea for us. Like all other girls, my ‘lady love’ too gave a free smile to that kid. I still don’t understand this funda of giving free smiles to everyone and yes, let me clear before you start wondering, that she’s not an Air Hostess! She just showed him that we still have some tea left and won’t be taking another cup of tea. But I think it was kind of great feeling for that kid. Yes I know this girl has nice smile, free to everyone! Well, this seemingly harmful encounter has produced some strange sequence of instances.

Since then, there hasn’t been a single peaceful cup of tea at that Baidyanath Tea Stall. Every time, that kid sees ‘my Miss’, he almost comes running to her asking for the order. Yes I know great service at even a tea stall! But frankly I am complaining for the first time in my life for getting special and Exclusive service.

“Why do you smile looking at him every time you come here?” I asked, somehow hiding my strange jealousy.

“Common he’s just a kid.” She replied. She is good at understanding my feelings I guess!

“Ya, it’s fine. I was just… Yun hi, kaha.”

“Are you jealous of that kid? Common He’s Cute. And don’t worry I’ll not leave you for him.” She Smiled. And like always, no surprises for guessing, I lost this small verbal battle… again. And Wow! I mean, what a consolation I got. And Actually I got nothing to say! And suddenly the tea too, tasted a bit bitter!

After that many a times we’ve been there and saw that strange chemistry b/w that Sweet smile of ‘my love’ and boy’s eyes. And there’s this 3^rd character, ‘ME’!

Now it’s been months, and life’s been busy! Not time to spend on that tea stall and those hours of sweet talks over just 2 cup of tea. Now Tea means, just 5 min break from project and get back to work asap.

Today, Sometimes I cross that tea stall, after work at late evenings! And I feel why on earth I ever felt jealous about a small kid. Yes, I know now, it’s a bit stupid! But, I love this next part. I remember all those discussions and smile in my own! I still remember the face of that kid. Sadly, still know him as ‘CHOTU’, never asked his real name. I feel good at least about one thing, in this whole sequence, that I love that girl so much that I could feel this rare emotion, jealous about a kid. That kid, ‘Chotu’, He was ‘MY STARNGE COMPETITION’.

A Lovely Night

2.04 am
Pune


Hii guys,
Just want to share a few things...

Its A lovely night in Pune. Nice cool breeze. Working late night on my laptop.

Needless to say I am Alone...

Listening to some very soft song.

Way back into love from Music and Lyrics.

Just downloaded Tu jane na from Ajab Prem ki...
Lovely song... Kailash Kher has spelled some magic in this song.

and that line. NIGAHOON me meri jo hai bas gaya. Wo hai tumse milta hubahu...

Guys listen to this song... when u are alone. u'll surely remember your first Love...
I am doing that.
This night feel like its soft as soothing music of piano and feels like a feather touch.

Resigning From JOB: the end or A NEW BEGINING

2.51 am, 28th Feb, 2010
Pune

People always say, there should always be one thing which can drive you Forever... I mean for a long long time. Forever seems to be a really really long term and a bit unrealistic too. (Yup!!! you guessed it wrong, bad experience with this term).

MBAs always say till you shift job for 3 4 imes u'll never know what job you want to do ACTUALLY. Many people generally earn money and lose life.

Why i am saying all this? I am resigning from job the day after tomorrow. Its been 6 months this time.
Reason: I am getting a much better job but still i am feeling that more than this financial and professional stability we need much more personal life ON TRACK. TRUE for many!!! I have always been lucky in terms of getting something at the right time in life.

I just hope this is not ''THE END'' of another chapter, with just a few learning carry forward to. Just hoping that this NEW JOB will get me the much needed DRIVE of my life...

I have always beleived in myself. and this new project is great too but keeping my fingers crossed. May be, It BECOMES ''THE NEW BEGINING'' I HAVE ALWAYS searched for.

Signing off... As an Employee, Tomorrow will Sign in, in a different system.

I DONT KNOW, Who AM I?

Its been great 24 years of life!!! I really dont know how many of us can say this honestly.

I am from family which is not very rich yet i have been always satisfied.

May be because i was born and brought up in a town where almost everyone has same status and same dreams too.

Today when i look back i see, i did not go to a restraunt till I was 14. Strange!!!

Saw Mercedes only in Newspaper Advertisements. To DREAM something you need to see, get attracted and get inpired. I had nothing as such so... So i was satisfied and got a tendency of getting satisfied pretty soon. So i guess I can say, Its been a great life because i have never been dissatisfied.

Now I have dreams and some real big ones... inching towards it slowly... i guess the journey of TOIL and Dissatisfaction has started. Still when when i see the dreams are much more driven by Financial goals. I dont if everyone has the same goals? May be I am trying to find satisfaction in them.

Today, trust me i dont know what i want. All I know is I am working to earn. Rest, Who the hell gets time to think about the rest. But still, the life, as always perceived is only JOB, WORK, CAREER? Do you too think this way, sometimes or I am the only fool trying to figure out where my Life's heading?

Off late I have realised, as long as there's UNCERTAINTY, we are full of feeling and emotions as if Uncertainty cooks the feeling in a PRESSURE COOKER. May be that's why these reality shows are becoming popular... As we grow up, the 'uncertainty factor' gradually dies down and the OBVIOUS part subtly creeps in.

I have heard, Life is a Gamble. Some Play and Some Watch. And Life takes CARE of everyone. Even of those who are not watching the gamble. Slowly but surely.

So, Still trying to figure out Who I am. May be a MBA by chance, A man with some dreams.

Whose Valentine Day is It?

Valentine Day.
I have always wondered, Whats there in this day, that suddenly, even the most stupid articles transform into meaningful gifts?

Valentine's Day- Its a time for all. I dont know how much it matter to couples, who are actually in love. I guess more than them, its the Hotels, Restraunts, Malls, and the hawkers who make merry. Right from Roses to plastic toys; Most costly restraunt dinners to masala peanuts- Everything sells.

And how can i forget The SELF PROCLAIMED, "SAMAAJ KE THEKEDAAR" the political parties and yes Policemen. Even they wait for these days. Easy money and for some PUBLICITY. Right?


Sometime i felt, its a marketing gimick by ARCHIES to make these days so popular and make everyone feel that this is the only day to express LOVE. to a huge extent they have succeeded in their plans too. Revenues and strategies... wait where am i going?

Well, Sorry the last paragraph was inspired by the marketing person inside me.

Talking about me, I could not wait to propose to my love for V day. Actually i was too impatient for that. But i tried to celebrate as many V DAYS, as i Could, every year. just by saying "I LOVE YOU".
Trust me, as people say it as magical 3 words, its actually magical infact. Feel it and say it. Because these are the words which we should say the maximum times and we say it least.

Personally i used to select cards and gifts very carefully. First two visits were just preliminary visits to ARCHIES Gallery. Roses are must. bought at double the price on that day. No issues. Its a day to make merry.

So even I kept this affair on that day to minimum with Police and Political groups looking for a reason to thrash you. Afterall, i had other 364 days to celebrate my love.

Some people complain, Its destroying the culture of India. Perceptions , no complains. But, those who have these views they either dont have girlfriends or else They are too Old. and those who have girlfriends, god knows what excuse they give to their loved ones.
So dear you Oldies...
YOUR TIME IS UP and OUR TIME IS NOW... some more years and You will be off.

Well i have seen some great activists of parties throwing special parties to their friends and have their moments of love in the same evening. IRONY?

Now i see my parents wishing each other "HAPPY V DAY". they are traditional but if love is in air why not atleast wish each other. I dont know how many time they would have said to each other "I LOVE YOU". But what's great to see is, my dad sitting in kitchen every day(Almost everyday) when my mom prepares dinner. After all long tiring day, to listen to that street gossip of mom. I guess papa too have developed some flare and taste for her gossip by now. All these for 26 straight years.
Thats Love. Great going mom dad.

So even if words and day does not matter much. But is there any harm dedicating one day to LOVE?
I believe No...

Break ups , Patch up, Move on, Propose to, Crush, Infatuation, bio chemical reaction and the latest one- PHEROMONES.

Love actually- is... dont know what? But those who stick together, feel it one day within them for sure.

So i guess its the togetherness that counts. and i heard it from somewhere that more than a feeling its an ability... More you be with her, more you feel it. We the young generation- the smart generation will always get OPTIONS in Life.
But i feel OPTIONS are NEVER SOLUTIONS.

So this valentines's day, Enjoy and say it Loud...

"I LOVE YOU... You are the one for me." its not always the cards and roses can speak for you. ITS YOU...

So HAPPY VALENTINE DAY... ALL THOSE WHO WAIT for this day. Baloon wallahs to MALLS.
and yes those who are in Love. Guys stick together.

NJOY.